Life Intructions

I was reading Annette's blog and I read the part about intructions for life. I won't re-write it, she had dibbs but I'll post a link that can show you all of them.

Dali Lama;Intructions for Life

Poetry

A poem I found that really got to me. It's directed at someone, I won't say who though. May or may not be who you think...

I want to be beautiful
And make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart
And be amazed
I want to hear you say
That who I am is quite enough
I just want to be worthy and beautiful in your eyes.

Balance

I've figured out that everything has a fine balance. I knew that for a while, but I'm really seeing that these past few days. And its been a very fine line.... You can be with someone but if you say something wrong, that took a second to say, and you weren't even quite sure of the extent of what you said, it becomes a huge deal and you can't help but wonder; where did that whole thing come from. We know everything happens for a reason, and I've noticed the differences that could have happened if I'd made a different decision. Most of the time it's a simple decision and most of the time it's "oh thank God I didn't do that"... I hate it though when it's the " I wish I'd done that instead"

It's been hard for me to balance everything. I've been so busy with some things I almost forget about the other ones that I really wanted to do. I hate how I can't just have everything fit. Sometimes I swear God should have put more days in the week. Then I'd probably get more things done. As long as its more weekend days ;)

So here it goes.

Life's been hectic. K well never mind that, that's a lie. I don't really know why it takes me so long to write something, even though I'm on the computer. I just can't seem to think of it until I'm doing something else. Report cards are out; 3 A's, 1 B. Not bad for the first report card. I've been concentrating a lot on school lately. I guess I just see it as this huge opportunity to make a difference. I was watching Oprah ( I know I know ) and something she said really got to me. Education is freedom. I find that is so true. Without a good education I will not reach any of the goals I have for myself.
Lately it's like I've got a million things I want to do when I'm "older". I can't think of a lot of short term goals. I find a new career I want to go for every week. I was sure of what I wanted to be, and now I keep finding these other aspects of life that I am so interested in. What's interesting is none of them are related. Well, I suppose the only link is that I want to help. First it was people, help them by counseling. Then I wanted to get into nutrition and help people make good choices for their bodies. Now I want to help the Earth, in less polluting and showing people what they can do to make sure that we are taking care of one of the most precious gifts; a place to live. It's so confusing.
I'm desperate for a job. I don't think I act like it though, I've applied to 2 places, I really want one, but at the same time I don't want to realize it's time for me to start making my own money. Which is why, you see an ad for Google. I get money if I put that up there. Cool huh? I can't figure out what the bad part about it is, it seems so easy...There's gotta be something wrong. I guess I'll find out as I go.
God and I have been good. I've figured out what it was that I had to stop to make him start talking to me, showing me where to go, what to do. I'm so glad I finally have someone to talk to before I go to bed and I don't feel like I was just talking to a wall. I can seem him around all the time. I must say thanks 10 times a day, just because he's made my life easier in some little way.
Well, that's my life in a nutshell, not all of it. But it's a start in returning to my blogging ways.

is this supposed to be good?

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

back....kinda

computer's been done for almost a week. ive changed some more, I feel more.... something. I think I might need to change my blog again, to express myself....again. More stuff later, its too early

Too far for comfort

K so I haven't posted in a while. No idea why really. I'm sitting in Capp right now, doing a project on the computer. I was just talking to someone beside me who said that they used to go to church. She decided that she could not fit God into her schedule. In my head I'm thinking, she's a great person, too bad she won't make it to heaven. And that's what brought me here, because I have judged her, and thought that I knew where she was going because of one thing she'd said.

I don't know where I am with God right now. I feel comfortable, and at the same time I feel so far away. I don't hear him talk, I barely get the hints he leaves me anymore. I don't understand it. I was doing so well and now it's like I dreamed up that whole relationship I was building and now I'm left with nothing but to start over. I pray, not as often; but none the less I'm still there praying for people, for myself and that my life will turn out the way he wanted it to. Why is it that I feel that God is looking at me and saying you've got this totally wrong, your looking at this from the wrong perspective, your not doing what I wanted you to do.... How are you supposed to answer that?