Alone with myself

Being alone is not something I like to do very often. Really alone. I'm alright with being alone in the house, reading or watching TV. But when I just have my thoughts and I'm forcing myself to do nothing else, it scares me. I don't know how to act around certain people. I don't really know what I'm like so I can't be "myself" with other people. Well, that's not entirely true. I've found a few people, and I mean like 1 or 2, that I can be open with, and I just don't understand why I can't be like that all the time. So now I'm alone, working on myself and having to rely completely on God to be my everything, my friend, my mentor, the one that listens to me cry in the early morning and the one who puts me to sleep with His soft words. I need to get to know Him, go get to know myself. I can already see it's going to take a long time, I'm not even looking forward to it. But I need to do this until I know, because I don't want to have to do this again later.