Secrets

Okay I have a secret. I think I'm ready for everyone to know. I watch Oprah on a regular basis. That's right, I just can't help it. I think she's got a good idea about the world and some of the things she talks about really hit home for me. I was watching it today and it was about different cultures around the world, and how women live. For instance; did you know that in Ireland ( woo Ireland! ) that they have already had 2 women presidents. I doubt we're close to having that happen over here.
Iceland is one of the safest places in the world. They're crime statistics barely exist. Women feel comfortable leaving their children, in strollers outside stores while they shop. And nothing happens to them- that's freakin amazing. Also something I found rather astounding, teenagers over there are having sex-and no one cares. Its normal over there to have sex on your first date. People don't judge, and if your a single mom, the more power to ya. Makes me think of how we are "techonogically advanced" but when it comes to things that matter, we are so far behind. The one thing that all these women had to say about Americans ( I guess that would sort of relate to us as well... ) is that our lives are too fast paced. If we slowed down for two minutes to look around, maybe we would actually see people. My mom used to tell about when she went to Madrid. Around noon every shop would close so that the people could relax outside or take a nap, since it was the hottest part of the day. If that happened here, our lives might fall apart.
We are constantly moving around, and if we have absolutely something to do, some of ( like me ) do the un think able. We create drama. Lots of people create their own drama. Let's have a man and a woman walking down the street, now being a woman she might ask if he thought she was fat, or if the lady they just passed was more attractive. What do we call that? Unnecessary drama. The guy loves her, obviously he is going to say she's he best thing in the world, no one can compare to her ( or at least lets hope he said something like that ) but you get the picture. I think us "ladies" are worse for doing that. If there's a guy we know is into them, and you have a boy-friend their most likely to first with him a bit, just to make sure their guy is paying attention. Get them a little jealous so they'll try harder to be with you etc. Its dumb.

I've had a lot of conversations today. More than I had anticipated but I'm so glad they happened. I'm still working on changing, and their are things I didn't even know I had to change. Now that I'm aware however, they will stop. It's something that is more easily fixed. I didn't know I was hurting people when I was. I wasn't being grateful for the people I have in my life, who would do anything for me. I didn't give them the respect they deserved. When I was told, it just blew my whole world away. I had no idea. And I'm sorry for it, deeply sorry. If you read it, you know what I'm talking about. And I will get better at using my voice, I know I matter, I just need to accept it now.